depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!
me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week
families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful
actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.
Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*
My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.
Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines
My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap
My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.
Therapist in media: serious face the whole time
My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*
therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”
my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???
my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now
Actual things my therapist has told me:
“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)
“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”
“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”
I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.
Can I just say that y'all sharing your positive experiences with therapy are extremely important? I had a Bad therapist in high school and I’m only just now (almost a decade later) considering trying therapy again, largely in thanks to people who talk openly about their treatment and how it helps them.
So like, thanks dudes.
Steven, my therapist with a heart of gold: That was some fucking BULLSHIT you went through. Let’s work on that fuck nugget today.
My therapist repeatedly told me I had the case of the “fuck-it’s” and prescribed me a book called the subtle art of not giving a fuck. He would also regularly tell me to cut the shit when I tried to tiptoe around me feelings.
Oh and one time he asked me about a painful experience and I answered with ‘nope’ and he looked me in the eyes and shook his head and said “you can’t nope your counselor” which I found pretty fucking funny
i do this so that whenever someone at school tries to make a point and then defends it by saying ‘it’s in the constitution!’ or ‘it’s from the bible!’ or something else along those lines, i can pull out my own copy and say, ‘where exactly does it say that?’
also it’s just great to confuse people by pulling a fucking book of school rules out of nowhere in order to discuss what qualifies as a dresscode violation.
today during lunch a kid and i were debating the gender of god and he said “god’s a man in the bible” and i said “i’m pretty sure god is technically nonbinary or genderfluid, but let me check that” and i unzipped my backpack and the boy said “what’s she doing?” and my friend replied “she’s getting her bible” and i’m not sure how he felt when i set it down on the lunch table and flipped open to genesis but i definitely felt amazing.
@markiplier yet another hospital visit has gone well, almost peacefully, because I’m watching old playlists. last time was Pony Island, today it’s Subnautica. thanks for making it easier to deal with my health declining.
time to get possessed by the ghost of 2012 tumblr and draw ship art of the goose from the goose game and the goat from goat simulator as 20 year old twinks
you cant just fucking say this in public. youve spoken it into existence and if this actually happens youll have to shoulder the blame
How much time do you need to spend on a joke before it’s no longer a joke
This was a more satisfying narrative arc than the last Avengers movie.
I better not be in here more than today… I just know my parents are going to insist that I not go to youma if I’m hospitalized for a day or two. now accepting thoughts and prayers for a quick fix and for me to gtfo this damn hospital.
FUCK I didn’t realize it was wednesday, now REALLY accepting thoughts and prayers to get me out of this fuckign hospital by tomorrow
I better not be in here more than today… I just know my parents are going to insist that I not go to youma if I’m hospitalized for a day or two. now accepting thoughts and prayers for a quick fix and for me to gtfo this damn hospital.
can someone explain to me how the hell emulators work? I just want to play pokemon on my laptop while I’m in the ER, I don’t care if I have to download something, just… nothing wants to cooperate with me.
